The Bulldog Pride Fund at Fresno State Presents

AND THEN CAME TANGO

Feb. 27 and 28, 2015

The Painted Table • Tower District • Fresno

And Then Came Tango
The play tells the true story of Roy and Silo, two male chinstrap penguins at New York’s Central Park Zoo. The couple is given a discarded egg, hatch it, and raise the baby chick, Tango, as their own. Suitable for 1st graders and up. Two performance only. Limited seating. Free parking.

Proceeds benefit the BULLDOG PRIDE CLUB + BULLDOG PRIDE FUND at Fresno State.

ADVANCE RESERVATIONS REQUIRED: 559.278.2586 • www.bulldogpride.org

Today only!  Watch Transparent on Amazon for FREE, no membership required.

Also today only, save nearly 30% on an Amazon Prime membership!  Use the link below to help support Gay Fresno:

Join for only $72, regularly $99.  If you have an existing Amazon prime membership, you can send yourself a gift membership code at this space price and enter it when your current membership expires. Win - Win!

 

Bryan-OliverA teenager charged with shooting a classmate in the chest at his central California high school two years ago accepted a plea agreement with prosecutors Friday for a 27-year sentence in state prison.

Bryan Oliver, 18, pleaded no contest to two counts of attempted murder in wounding the student, the Bakersfield Californian reported.

Under the agreement, Oliver will be eligible for release on parole after 13 years.

In January 2013, Oliver, then 16, entered Taft Union High School in Kern County armed with a shotgun, shot a classmate and fired at a second before dropping the weapon, authorities said.

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outside-the-box

Cancer . . . just hearing the word makes us squirm—especially when we hear this: "You have a very fast-growing prostate cancer."

Six weeks ago, I was sitting in my doctor’s office with my partner Ernie, hearing those exact words. Beginning that day, my world became a whirlwind of various tests, then surgery, followed bv weeks of being trapped in a bed or chair with drain tubes and bags needing to be changed every few hours.

The good news is that the surgery to remove my prostate was successful, and follow-up radiation and hormone therapy promise to ensure no traces of cancer remain. I'm at home now recovering well, lavished with love and concern (and more food than I know what to do with), thanks to a wonderful network of family and friends.

When I shared what I was going through with editor and life-long friend Ted Fleischaker, he suggested I skip last month's column then make my next feature a memoir recounting my experiences. So, here goes . . .

Lots of us may wonder at times what we would do if we were ever confronted with a diagnosis of cancer. As for me, I've imagined myself bravely doing "whatever it took" to vanquish the disease, even trying experimental drugs that hadn’t been approved yet for use on humans. I've fantasized melodramatic scenarios where I refused debilitating treatments in favor of cherishing what little quality time I had left with loved ones.

When the time actually came, of course, none of these things happened. Instead I found myself taking a deep breath, reaching for Ernie’s hand, then calmly exploring treatment options with my physician. Admittedly my cool exterior disguised the fact that my heart was pounding wildly. However I managed to keep my act together until the consultation was over and we had a clear treatment plan — an immediate prostatectomy.

There were some tears on the ride home as Ernie and I discussed how to tell the kids, and more tears when I actually did talk to them later that day. However both my kids are strong, optimistic people, so we were able to comfort each other with reminders that we had caught the cancer early and the prognosis was good.

The Religion News Service has reported the formation of a new organization called — And I am not making this up — Evangelicals for Marriage Equality. It was launched on Tuesday and immediately began collecting signatures from evangelicals who support same-sex marriage. Its advisory board includes several evangelical luminaries: author and speaker Brian McLaren, former National Association of Evangelicals vice president Richard Cizik and former USAID faith adviser Chris LaTondresse.

Some of you may recall news articles awhile back, when Cizik resigned from his position with the National Association of Evangelicals, citing his support for same-sex civil unions.

It is immensely heartening to see significant evangelicals come to a realization that if the institution of marriage is good for society, and good for opposite-sex couples, it should be equally good for same-sex couples. This new organization is yet another expression of the growing recognition that fidelity and stability require social acceptance — that when you demonize people, when you deny them respect and equal civil rights, you are encouraging destructive behaviors.

So — you may be late to the party, Evangelicals for Marriage Equality, but we certainly welcome you.

That said, there may also be an element of self-preservation in this sudden turnaround. Over the past few years, membership in these conservative churches has been declining. Young Christians, especially, have rejected a theology that seemed to place homophobia at the very center of its belief structure.

Polling has confirmed that the demographic split that characterizes the broader American society is equally pronounced among adherents of conservative and evangelical Christianity. Not that young evangelicals are leading the charge to embrace equal rights for their lesbian, gay, bi & trans peel's, but they are demonstrably less homophobic than their elders and changing (for the better) with dizzying rapidity.

rainbow-pcWill that be wheat or white? Sweet tea or unsweetened? Cash or charge? Debit or credit? Whole milk or 2%?

Every day in life we are faced with choices and often subconsciously make them, but few are going to be as long-lasting or as costly (or money-saving) as all the ones which seem to be bombarding us now with the advent of the new iPhone 6 and the Droids which are on the market. What I refer to is not only the choice of changing phones and upgrading (now or later) but the wide and ever-widening choice of calling plans and packages which almost all of the major providers are just going nuts to sell us.

Do you want to just wait for the two-year “old standard” time frame and then upgrade? There's a plan for that.

Rather have that iPhone 6 now, but have months left on the “old" 5C or Droid you bought last year? Plans for that.

Wanna pay nothing now, but willing to get a few extra bucks a month added to the cell bill in trade for upgrading to the latest, greatest now? They got that.

And what about upgrading now to an iPhone 6, then getting to upgrade again next year or anytime something new arrives? Yep, there’s a plan for that out there, too.

But as Don Pardo used to say on The Price Is Right: “That's not all, Bill!"

There are now a myriad of plans based around not what most folks think of a cell phone for at all — calling — but based on data (browsing, texts, etc.) as the major firms have started a data price war. While there are no bullets flying, there are offers in every newspaper, mailbox and on every TV and radio station promising everything from free calls from Europe and Canada to unlimited data and even cash being dangled to buy you out of that old plan you might have elsewhere.

So what to do? What option to take?

Prop 8 attorney David Boies sat down with Bloomberg's John Heilemann yesterday to go over the Supreme Court's decision to review the four gay marriage cases from the Sixth Circuit.

 

 

finances-in-focus

As an investor, you may find that the elements of your portfolio that seem to draw most of your attention are stocks and bonds. After all, these investment vehicles, and others derived from them, provide you with potential growth and income opportunities — which is why you invest in the first place. Yet, you also may find significant value in a more humble financial asset: cash. In fact, you might be surprised at the various ways in which the cash, and cash equivalents, in your portfolio can help you complete your financial picture.

One way to understand the uses of cash is to look at the “USES" of cash. In other words, consider the acronym USES:

—         U for Unexpected expenses and emergencies — You’ll need sufficient cash for situations such as a job loss, a home repair or an unplanned medical expense. During your working years, you should keep three to six months' worth of living expenses in a cash account specifically designed to meet unexpected expenses. Once you're retired, you may be able to get by on a smaller emergency fund — up to three months' worth of living expenses, although you will need more for everyday spending.

—         S for Specific short-term savings goal — Are you anticipating a big expense —a wedding (once they become legal), a week in Palm Springs, a down payment on a new home, etc. — sometime within the next few years? If so, you'll want to set aside sufficient cash, with the exact amount depending on your specific short-term goal.

—         E is for Everyday spending — It goes without saying that you'll need adequate cash for your everyday spending needs — groceries, utilities, entertainment, mortgage/ debt payments, and so on. Of course, while you're working, you will probably handle most of these costs with your pay checks, but you may still need to set aside one or two months' worth of living expenses.

Once you're retired, though, it's a somewhat different story. While your expenses may go down in some areas (such as costs associated with employment such as uniforms, dress clothes or commuting to and from the job), they are likely to go up in others (such as health care). So your overall cost of living may not drop much, if at all. Consequently, it may be a good idea to set aside 12 months' worth of living expenses, after incorporating other sources of income, such as Social Security and outside employment.

The Supreme Court has agreed to resolve the national debate over same-sex marriage once and for all.

The justices will consider four cases from Michigan, Ohio, Kentucky and Tennessee, consolidated and heard together. They will hear 2 1/2 hours of oral arguments in April and issue a ruling before the current term ends in late June.

The new challenges to gay marriage bans are destined to become even more of a landmark than those decided by the court in 2013 — United States v. Windsor, which forced the federal government to recognize gay marriages, and Hollingsworth v. Perry, which made California the 13th state to allow them.  Join the Marriage Equality USA Community Call tonight to hear more:

 SCOTUS WILL

PecsnCity

When you step into a boxing ring, you know what’s coming. Trust me. The wet slap of a glove in your eye socket, the jaw-rattling right cross that shakes your teeth inside your mouth guard, the blows that rain across your ribs and abs and the bum of the ropes on your back when you are corralled by your opponent. The pain is real and bright and you knew it was waiting for you. It's kind of like the feeling right before you get a shot or have a cavity filled. You know what’s coming, you see the needle and the pain follows, just like it is supposed to.

No one wants to see pain coming, and as you live your life day-to-day, you spend most of it avoiding any unnecessary discomfort. When the time comes that you meet someone who ignites your heart, you automatically follow suit and do what you have to do to avoid any pain.

Everyone has something to hide. Whether it's a secret crush or a hidden rage or a crippling emotional problem, it can lay buried beneath layers of money and designer clothes, well-honed muscle and sexual prowess or a frozen smile that masks the real feeling inside.

Sometimes our true nature bubbles to the surface — usually when we least expect it. The crush is revealed after a couple of drinks, the rage is ignited over a tiny slight or the emotional barrier stays steadfast even though you are in the warm, safe confines of a relationship.

So why do we hide the things that make us human? Why do we hide the beat of our heart and the truth in our soul? Because we are all afraid of getting hurt.

So how do we avoid the pain? Some people become someone else, leaving their true nature behind to make someone happy. They deny who they really are to become someone else; someone they believe is the one their partner wants. That's not to say that some people can't keep an open mind and try new things with a new partner, but some people completely transform themselves into a false representation of who they are and what they want in order to keep the relationship alive.

Some people say things they don't mean because they believe it's what the other person wants to hear.

They say: “I love you” when they are not sure if that’s what they are feeling.

They say: “That sounds fun", even though it's something they hate.

They say: “Everything's fine” even though it isn't.

Saying everything is fine is something we do every day. People say: “How are you?" and we say: “Fine, thanks”, even when we are the furthest thing from it. Can you imagine if everyone answered honestly when they were asked how they were doing? No one would get anything done, and we would end up sharing our personal lives with complete strangers. Maybe that is why we do it.

When someone you don't know asks you how you are doing, what do you think they would say if you said: “My dog just died” or "My boyfriend just broke up with me” or even if you went the other direction and said: “I'm awesome — I just got a blowjob in the parking lot of the gym”. The reason is that “fine" is what people want to hear. So that’s our programmed response. To hide how we truly feel.

We hide things in other ways, too. A crush on someone you see every day in the gym or behind the counter at a bookstore or a coffee shop or even walking past your window. Do we say anything? Not likely. And why is that? To avoid the pain of being rejected or finding out they are already connected or even the fact that they don’t share your sexuality. So we say nothing and daydream of what it would be like to talk to them, to hold their hand or to kiss them as rain pours down around you.

The problem with this situation is simple: what if none of that is true? What if they are just like you, timing their workouts to coincide with yours, drinking coffee they don't even want just to see you or taking the route past your window in hopes that one day you will say something? Hiding from pain means losing the opportunity to find something spectacular in another human being.